So when it comes down to it, Europe was born the child of a giant five-horned sea monster: Merovech, or maybe Merovee. We've briefly mentioned the story before, when we accused Napoleon of making a Faustian (or at least Lovecraftian) deal with a Dagon-esque creature in a bid to become emperor of Europe. But let's go over it again. A 5th century Frankish king named Chlodio conquered a good chunk of what is today France and Germany.